I was living the dream, then cruelly ripped into the waking world
I was blessed by, then obsessed, I've been infatuated with one girl
She used to give me the time of day, now I'm gripped by endless nights
On that One Piece bullshit, there's no end in sight
To the urge, the want, the need to get her back
No trolley problem here, because my mind is one-track
There was a time, so far behind now, that there may have been a chance
But unforgiving circumstance, and she's found a new romance
He's not an awful pick, but a conservative choice
He'll spoil her and he's good at golf, a nerdy ass voice
But he'll never make her scream or make her dope ass memes
I'll give her better, give her clever, break from the routine
I'm just a better fit, ain't a doubt that
I can rhyme, give her time, and I know how to scat and shit
Beedy badda, beedy badda, boo dop, hey
I'm gonna devise a way to get her back today

Never been this way
But need to get her back
Helplessly in love
Her halo 'round my neck
He don't even care
He'll greet my threats with laughter
I'll crush his head. He'll be dead
Live happily ever after

He don't want me around, so he's a guy that I abhor
But they say that all is fair when it comes to love and war
And I'm in love with my ex, so now this dude has to die
And when he "disappears", I'll be the shoulder on which she cries
So in regards to his fate, while he's out gettin' baked
I'ma get him from behind and dump his ass in the lake
But not before I sodomize him with that big ol' rusty knife
I'm talkin' the one my boy Santa used to straight take his life

Anywho, this dude is fuckin' sleepin' with the fish now
Like an animal shelter, I'm swoopin' in to take this bitch out
To feed her, greet her, treat her to the care that she needs
Call me sunflower, 'cause she'll be eating my salty seed
Indeed, and it'll be me and her again in the end
Even if for now she only sees me as a friend
A couple of tiny tweaks and we can shift the dynamic
We'll be back to gettin' down like Jack and Rose in "Titanic"

Until one drowns.
I didn't think that one all the way through.

Never been this way
But need to get her back
Helplessly in love
Her halo 'round my neck
He don't even care
He'll greet my threats with laughter
I'll crush his head and he'll be dead
Live happily ever after

So the dude's a distant memory in the back of our minds
Though I'ma do her like I did him, in that I'll get her from behind
But the key difference here is that she's gonna enjoy this
While I destroy this, then I'm gonna deploy this
Jism in her belly, so sorry for being gross
It's just how it's gonna be when we get intimate, yo
And reacquainted to the tainted meat, the fruit of our loins
I'll have succeeded in my mission, though, so holla at ya boy!
Yeah, disgusting, I know, but that's the idea of me
And nothin's gonna stop me from livin' out my dreams
My perverted fantasy of having her back in my arms
I could either do all this or just remind her of my charm
But she'll be ever so thankful just to have me there
To have me to hold her, to have someone who cares
And she won't see the killer in me, only what matters most
And when we bummin' and lovin' and cummin' I'll straight up be flipping the bird to his ghost
Let's go